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Behind the Medic: “Dr. Cranquis, the electronic prescribing system is down until further notice…”

cranquis:

My nurses just looked at me funny when I started flipping the workstation lightswitch on and off while making glottal techno-beat noises.

(Source: homestarrunner.com)

swagtron4000:

sorry sir, we don’t have the facilities for a cat scan, but we can certainly get you a lab report

Care plans are a useless waste of my time and I’d rather not do them…

sarcasticnursejess:

tastefullyoffensive:

[theoatmeal]
unbloss:

lepetitchatblanc:


best thing I’ve ever read

NEVER FORGET

holy shit
Straight Boys: Why are all the hot girls lesbians?
Lesbians: Why are all the hot girls straight?
Straight Girls: Why are all the hot guys gay?
Gay Guys: Why are all the hot guys straight?
Bisexual People: WHY ARE ALL THE HOT PEOPLE TAKEN?
Pansexual People: everyone is hot what do I do
Asexual People: what

When patients ask if their planned surgery is dangerous

copingnurse:

image

(via nursefocker)

tastefullyoffensive:

This cat is my spirit animal. [allthegriffin]

Here’s a video of Griffin as a Kitten

tastefullyoffensive:

[threepanelsoul]

nurse-with-a-smile:

Intradermal:
This route is usually used for tuberculin testing or checking for medication/allergy sensitivities
It may be used for some cancer immunotherapy
Use small amounts of solution [0.01-0.1 mL] in a tuberculin syringe with a fine-gauge needle [26 to 27] in lightly pigmented, thin skinned, hairless sites [inner surface of mid-forearm or scapular area of back] at a 10-15 degree angle.
Subcutaneous:
This route is appropriate for small doses of nonirritating, water-soluble medications and is commonly used for insulin and heparin.
Use a 3/8- to 5/8-inch, 25- to 27-gauge needle, or an insulin syringe of 28- to 31- gauge. 
Inject no more than 1.5 mL solution. 
For an average size client, pinch up skin and inject at 45-90 degree angle. For an obese client, use a 90 degree angle.
Sites are selected for adequate fat-pad size [abdomen, upper hips, lateral upper arms, thighs]
Intramuscular:
This route is appropriate for irritating medications, solutions in oils, and aqueous suspensions.
Most common sites include ventrogluteal, dorsogluteal, deltoid, and vast us lateralis [pediatric]
Use needle size 18 to 27 [usually 22- to 25-gauge], 1 to 1.5 inches long, and inject at a 90 degree angle.
Volume injected is usually 1-3 mL.
If > 3 mL is required, divide into two syringes and use two sites.

tastefullyoffensive:

Brushy Brushy [via]

Previously: Animals Stealing Food

usmlenotes:

Deep-vein-thrombosis-mnemonic!
skookumthesamoyed:

skookumthesamoyed:

Skookum’s had enough of your bullshit

JUST KIDDING HE LOVES YOU!

tastefullyoffensive:

Pets Who Are Terrible at Hide and Seek [via]

Previously: Kids Who Are Terrible at Hide and Seek